The trouble with being broke...

I like the hours in Real Estate, I like our office, I like the whole matching and searching for properties, I like the set-up, heck I even like Real Estate in particular. But I am not good at shmoozing up to people to get them to buy/rent from me. As one of my ex-potential clients said, I am a snob pretending to be friendly. I am not a people person. At least not when it involves people I really don't like. And it shows. I have already had 3 major disappointments in the last couple of weeks, not to mention a dozen minor ones: deals that didn't make it to the table, applications that got denied, clients who just flaked out. And all around me people are snapping up the commission checks. Left and right, man. Left and right. I feel like such a loser.

I know it's only been a month, but people, you don't understand. The market here in New York is different from anywhere else. Here something rents out in a month, max, or else it probably isn't worth renting out at all. Here sales close in 3 months, tops. People start looking for apartments three weeks before they have to move. Any earlier and it's just pointless because whatever they saw will probably be off the market by the time they need it.

And yes, here, if you don't close anything within a month, it's probably best to find another source of income.

This guy Sean, for example. He came in 2 weeks after me and he's already sitting on 4 applications, all ready to go. We were marketing the same properties. We both got calls, and we both showed. But he got the callbacks and I didn't. He works less hours than me as well, by the way.

And then there's Val. She came in around the same time I did and she has already earned 6k from last month alone. I've spent whole days in the office, working my fingers to the bone, watching people work, asking for advice. I've pleaded and begged for special training from various top producers, even from one of our general partners. I'm doing everything I was told, acting on all the little tips they've sent my way. So I know it's not because of the properties, or my advertising, or anything else. I just can't close a deal. It's like there's a secret ingredient in their make-up that I just don't have in mine. Maybe I'm just not a salesperson.

The other thing is if you ask any of our top people in the company how long it took for them to close their first deal, the answer is pretty much the same. Less than a week. Usually in 2 days. I've been here over a month and I've closed squat. If you've got it, you've got it, and it doesn't look like I do.

It sucks when you give it your darndest best and you still fall short. It's a little depressing, actually.

But. Before you give me the hang in there lecture, the try and try speech, and the don't give up spiel, stop. STOP. I mean, WTF? This isn't my passion. This isn't my one true dream, my calling in life. This was an experiment. And the experiment did not go according to plan. That's all. Better I learned this now than 25 years down the line, my Real Estate card still in my wallet, jaded and bitter, dejectedly waking up to ask myself, "What the hell did I do with my life?" Life is too short for that.

So don't worry. While I'm not as rash as to give up, period, as soon as this, I'm also open-minded enough to admit that this just might be one of those things best left to other people. I mean let's face it. This doesn't look like it's going to be a source of happiness for me. (All it's brought me so far is disappointment, depression, and a creeping self-doubt.) I'm still going to try to make it work, of course, but I also have to consider the idea that I may just really suck at this sales/rental thing. That, horror of horrors, sometimes even when you put your mind to something, it just doesn't work out the way you want.

Sadly, there comes a time when people just have to be realistic about their own abilities. I can't just sit and stubbornly wait here for things to look up without a shadow of a paycheck in sight. Not while I'm eating food (grocery bill), living in an apartment (rent,) and going to school (tuition). Yes, money is an issue. And if it's not coming in this way, then I really ought to find another source from which to get it, right? Eekk... good gawd, did that just come from me? (FYI, 9 people have already left the company since I started there. Their all smart people, just not "sales-y".)

So well, I'm going to be scrounging around for temporary part-time jobs in the meantime. I can't really get anything more permanent with the Manila trip looming in the horizon. I'm still posting and showing apartments though, and who knows, I might close something sometime, but as I've said, I can't be financially dependent indefinitely.

So wish me luck. I might finally be growing up.