Thursday, February 25, 2010
Current favorite pictures
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Vietnam Photos
Day 1: Cuchi Tunnels, Cao Dai See Temple -- photos to be added later.
It was a long first day, and by the time we got back to the hotel, we were hot, sticky, and tired. It was worth it though. Got to do my thing at the shooting range (with live bullets!), learned a lot about the Vietnam War, and saw a bit of what was then an unknown religion to me (the Cao Dai See Religion).
Day 2: Mekong Delta - Floating Market, Cai Be Town; Saigon at night.
I loved the Mekong Delta day. It just felt so quintessentially Vietnamese. And the whole ride through the Mekong was such an experience. Maybe I'll write more about it when I'm more coherent.
(Oh but wait, I already wrote about my second day in Vietnam in previous posts, didn't I?)
On the bus to Cai Be with my lovely sister.
Waiting for our turn to ride the boat that eventually took us around the river. I look so mad. The girls behind us are Jen and Alicia, whom we shared a table with during lunch.
Lia calls this my Ms. Saigon moment.
Partway through the tour, we transferred from our big boat to these little rowboats so we could see a few of the smaller waterways of the Delta.
Day 3: Saigon City. We ate pho, went to the market, did some shopping. Took in the sights, bought a few paintings, and walked QUITE a lot. It's kind of funny how Saigon seems to have been planned out very similarly to Paris. Both cities are divided into districts (arrondissements in Paris), both have narrow streets and lots of roundabouts, both have nice architecture. They even share a similar penchant for good food, especially bread.
It was a long first day, and by the time we got back to the hotel, we were hot, sticky, and tired. It was worth it though. Got to do my thing at the shooting range (with live bullets!), learned a lot about the Vietnam War, and saw a bit of what was then an unknown religion to me (the Cao Dai See Religion).
Day 2: Mekong Delta - Floating Market, Cai Be Town; Saigon at night.
I loved the Mekong Delta day. It just felt so quintessentially Vietnamese. And the whole ride through the Mekong was such an experience. Maybe I'll write more about it when I'm more coherent.
(Oh but wait, I already wrote about my second day in Vietnam in previous posts, didn't I?)
On the bus to Cai Be with my lovely sister.
Waiting for our turn to ride the boat that eventually took us around the river. I look so mad. The girls behind us are Jen and Alicia, whom we shared a table with during lunch.
Lia calls this my Ms. Saigon moment.
Partway through the tour, we transferred from our big boat to these little rowboats so we could see a few of the smaller waterways of the Delta.
Day 3: Saigon City. We ate pho, went to the market, did some shopping. Took in the sights, bought a few paintings, and walked QUITE a lot. It's kind of funny how Saigon seems to have been planned out very similarly to Paris. Both cities are divided into districts (arrondissements in Paris), both have narrow streets and lots of roundabouts, both have nice architecture. They even share a similar penchant for good food, especially bread.
On the infamous "cyclo". This ride was more dangerous than it may first seem. There are HEAPS of motorbikes in Saigon, and they are definitely the princes of the road. They will go wherever they will, and will zoom every which way imaginable. (We actually witnessed a few motorbike/scooter "accidents", but none of them were serious enough to even merit a second thought, apparently. The respective drivers and riders simply brushed themselves off and went on their merry ways.) Add to that all the buses who seemed to think driving was just one big video game, and you've got a suicide mission from third world hell. Being caught in the middle of all that really was quite an experience -- and I grew up in the third world!
2:59:00 AM
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Monday, January 4, 2010
Year Ender 2009
YEAR ENDER
What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Go on a backpacking tour with my siblings.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Well, let me put it this way. I think I ended up where I'm supposed to be. I can only hope that the same holds true next year.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. It was a year of deaths this year. Sad.
What places did you go to for vacation?
Europe, Boracay, Vietnam
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A steady job. A good job.
What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
A couple stand out, actually. Our whole tour in Europe from April to May, for example. And Vietnam in December. Macky's death. But the date I will always remember, whether I want to or not? April 7, when my grandfather died.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my returning resident visa for the US. Getting myself back together. Well, almost.
What was your biggest failure?
None, really, although it wasn't a year for smooth sailing either. Money, perhaps?
Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.
What was the best thing you bought?
Travel tickets. Contiki. Vietnam. A flight back to New York.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine. For not giving up on me. My family, for helping me along the way.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A few guys around us. I thought they'd be better people, for some reason.
Where did most of your money go?
Travel.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Europe Trip.
What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
No Reins, by Rascal Flatts.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? – Happier, definitely. Although, I have to say, it's a somber kind of happiness.
ii. thinner or fatter? – Very slightly thinner.
iii. richer or poorer? – pretty much the same, broke as hell.
What do you wish you'd done more?
I think I did everything I needed to do.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Drink. Strange, but drinking is really starting to lose its appeal. Now it's really only a tool of conversation, a necessary evil. But if I could do without it altogether, I probably would.
How many one-night stands?
Didn't have many male connections to begin with.
What was your favorite TV program?
Dr. Who. Castle. The Mentalist.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is such a strong word. But I do feel more ambivalent towards some people I used to think I loved.
What was the best book you read?
Again, I can't answer this. Don't make me pick favorites with my babies.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Nothing comes to mind.
What did you want and get?
A way back out to the big, wild world. For now, that means New York.
What was your favorite film of this year?
I liked a whole bunch of them, but nothing really stands out as the The Favorite.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 28, and I had a tiny party. It was enlightening and a push in the behind that I really needed.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Publication of some sort. A better flirtation.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
A little bit of everything.
What kept you sane?
Reading. Dr. Who. Travel. Family, esp my mom and Lia.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Santiago Cabrera. Tom Wisdom. David Tennant. Simon Baker.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Again, I'm an apathetic Filipino. Sadly, I get more excited about US politics.
Who did you miss?
At times, I missed my ex, but not that much, really. I think mostly I just missed a partner, a male of the species who could play off my personality. Someone who took care of me and made my daily happiness a priority. Someone I could make happy. Someone I could wake up with. A good friend who saw me through everything and still thought I was pretty damn great.
Who is the best new person you met in 2009?
I met a lot of interesting people. I don't think anyone truly "stuck" though.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Some things you just have to do for yourself.
What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
Someone who was practically a stranger called me beautiful and really meant it.
The most touching experience you've had this year?
Death.
What did you like most about yourself this year?
I dealt. And I was resilient. And I finally cut through the crap - not just mine either.
What did you hate most about yourself this year?
I didn't really hate myself this year.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
It's pretty simple as lyrics go:
"All she's ever felt is held back
She says, "It's kinda nice to hear myself laugh"
She's gonna do a lot more of that
She's makin' plans and makin' tracks
She said, "Oh, oh I gotta go and find me"
Oh, oh she found the strength to break free"
Was 2009 a good year for you?
Highs and lows. One of those years.
What was your favorite experience of the year?
Europe. Vietnam.
What was your least favorite experience of the year?
Seeing through other people's bullshit and realizing how shallow some of my so-called friendships really are.
Where were you when 2009 began?
My grandparents' house.
Who were you with?
The whole extended family.
Where were you when it ended?
The same.
Who were you with when 2009 ended?
See above.
Do you have a new years resolution for 2010?
Live life for me.
How many concerts did you see in 2010?
None, I guess.
Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
No, not really.
Do a lot of drugs in 2009?
Meds for migraine and my skin. That's it.
You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
No. I'm trying to cut the shame out of my life.
How much money did you spend in 2009?
Quite a lot.
What was your proudest moment of 2009?
None comes to mind.
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
None comes to mind.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
Nothing. And just like last year, surprisingly enough, I think I actually do mean that.
What are your plans for 2010?
Move back to NY. Get a good job. Travel solo at some point.
How are you different now that the year has ended?
I'm calmer. I like myself a lot more. I'm ready to get out there.
What are your wishes for the new year?
Travel. Live life for me. Make money. Get published.
What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Go on a backpacking tour with my siblings.
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Well, let me put it this way. I think I ended up where I'm supposed to be. I can only hope that the same holds true next year.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. It was a year of deaths this year. Sad.
What places did you go to for vacation?
Europe, Boracay, Vietnam
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A steady job. A good job.
What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
A couple stand out, actually. Our whole tour in Europe from April to May, for example. And Vietnam in December. Macky's death. But the date I will always remember, whether I want to or not? April 7, when my grandfather died.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting my returning resident visa for the US. Getting myself back together. Well, almost.
What was your biggest failure?
None, really, although it wasn't a year for smooth sailing either. Money, perhaps?
Did you suffer illness or injury?
No.
What was the best thing you bought?
Travel tickets. Contiki. Vietnam. A flight back to New York.
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine. For not giving up on me. My family, for helping me along the way.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
A few guys around us. I thought they'd be better people, for some reason.
Where did most of your money go?
Travel.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Europe Trip.
What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
No Reins, by Rascal Flatts.
Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? – Happier, definitely. Although, I have to say, it's a somber kind of happiness.
ii. thinner or fatter? – Very slightly thinner.
iii. richer or poorer? – pretty much the same, broke as hell.
What do you wish you'd done more?
I think I did everything I needed to do.
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Drink. Strange, but drinking is really starting to lose its appeal. Now it's really only a tool of conversation, a necessary evil. But if I could do without it altogether, I probably would.
How many one-night stands?
Didn't have many male connections to begin with.
What was your favorite TV program?
Dr. Who. Castle. The Mentalist.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is such a strong word. But I do feel more ambivalent towards some people I used to think I loved.
What was the best book you read?
Again, I can't answer this. Don't make me pick favorites with my babies.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Nothing comes to mind.
What did you want and get?
A way back out to the big, wild world. For now, that means New York.
What was your favorite film of this year?
I liked a whole bunch of them, but nothing really stands out as the The Favorite.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 28, and I had a tiny party. It was enlightening and a push in the behind that I really needed.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Publication of some sort. A better flirtation.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
A little bit of everything.
What kept you sane?
Reading. Dr. Who. Travel. Family, esp my mom and Lia.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Santiago Cabrera. Tom Wisdom. David Tennant. Simon Baker.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Again, I'm an apathetic Filipino. Sadly, I get more excited about US politics.
Who did you miss?
At times, I missed my ex, but not that much, really. I think mostly I just missed a partner, a male of the species who could play off my personality. Someone who took care of me and made my daily happiness a priority. Someone I could make happy. Someone I could wake up with. A good friend who saw me through everything and still thought I was pretty damn great.
Who is the best new person you met in 2009?
I met a lot of interesting people. I don't think anyone truly "stuck" though.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Some things you just have to do for yourself.
What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:
Someone who was practically a stranger called me beautiful and really meant it.
The most touching experience you've had this year?
Death.
What did you like most about yourself this year?
I dealt. And I was resilient. And I finally cut through the crap - not just mine either.
What did you hate most about yourself this year?
I didn't really hate myself this year.
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
It's pretty simple as lyrics go:
"All she's ever felt is held back
She says, "It's kinda nice to hear myself laugh"
She's gonna do a lot more of that
She's makin' plans and makin' tracks
She said, "Oh, oh I gotta go and find me"
Oh, oh she found the strength to break free"
Was 2009 a good year for you?
Highs and lows. One of those years.
What was your favorite experience of the year?
Europe. Vietnam.
What was your least favorite experience of the year?
Seeing through other people's bullshit and realizing how shallow some of my so-called friendships really are.
Where were you when 2009 began?
My grandparents' house.
Who were you with?
The whole extended family.
Where were you when it ended?
The same.
Who were you with when 2009 ended?
See above.
Do you have a new years resolution for 2010?
Live life for me.
How many concerts did you see in 2010?
None, I guess.
Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
No, not really.
Do a lot of drugs in 2009?
Meds for migraine and my skin. That's it.
You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
No. I'm trying to cut the shame out of my life.
How much money did you spend in 2009?
Quite a lot.
What was your proudest moment of 2009?
None comes to mind.
What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
None comes to mind.
If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
Nothing. And just like last year, surprisingly enough, I think I actually do mean that.
What are your plans for 2010?
Move back to NY. Get a good job. Travel solo at some point.
How are you different now that the year has ended?
I'm calmer. I like myself a lot more. I'm ready to get out there.
What are your wishes for the new year?
Travel. Live life for me. Make money. Get published.
8:27:00 AM
0 Comments
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Year's Eve
Tonight, I will ring in the year with a smile. I may not yet know what the smile is for, it may not even mean anything at all, but a smile will be there sitting on my face like a pretty dancing butterfly.
When our various clocks and watches give out the telltale ring of a new year, I will stand ready to loosen the binds of past sins and past wrongs and a hundred other things that once laid blame upon my feet. I will understand that I have extracted my lessons from my mistakes, and there is no longer any reason to carry my guilt over my shoulder, like a weight that threatens to crush me.
I will accept the changes that will come, for they are inevitable and that is all I can do.
I will be strong.
I will be who I am and who I want to be, regardless of the cacophony of voices that may nag at my ear. Let them find other ears to confuse and distract. Let them find other minds in which to dwell. I have my own voices, and they are enough.
If love comes my way, then I will love completely. I will love with all of me, with everything I have. I will fall without fear, without reservation. I will endeavor to love without ifs or buts, with eyes wide open, with him "as is".
This year, should love come, I will love without looking to forever, without promise of happy endings, but I will love with all of me, with all the space of the moment, for I know that for now, that is all that is within me to give. If love comes, he will not find me unwilling, but this year, I will not be chasing him down through the nooks and crannies of my life. I have done enough chasing in the past. This year, he will have to find me. I am worth the effort, after all, and while I like the chase too, this year, I will see about being a prize.
(And if by some grand design, I am left unfound and unclaimed, then so be it. For one year at least, I can keep me to myself.)
I will make my way in the world the best I know how: with pasion, with an open mind, with a lust for learning and adventure. I will let my own spirit take me where it will. I will ride every wave that comes to my shore. I will fly as far as I am able. I will not be afraid to lose my way, as long as I never lose myself. I will not live in fear of defeat, or change, or failure. I will not hold back. I will unwrap my courage, and wield it like a sword.
This year, I will live life solely for me. This year, I will unravel my soul as much as I am able. This year, I start anew.
This year, I will be my own oracle of what is to come, and I promise highs and lows and love and laughter and even my share of tears. But in the end, they will all have their place, and they will all be good things.
Here's to 2010. May it see me be better than I ever was.
When our various clocks and watches give out the telltale ring of a new year, I will stand ready to loosen the binds of past sins and past wrongs and a hundred other things that once laid blame upon my feet. I will understand that I have extracted my lessons from my mistakes, and there is no longer any reason to carry my guilt over my shoulder, like a weight that threatens to crush me.
I will accept the changes that will come, for they are inevitable and that is all I can do.
I will be strong.
I will be who I am and who I want to be, regardless of the cacophony of voices that may nag at my ear. Let them find other ears to confuse and distract. Let them find other minds in which to dwell. I have my own voices, and they are enough.
If love comes my way, then I will love completely. I will love with all of me, with everything I have. I will fall without fear, without reservation. I will endeavor to love without ifs or buts, with eyes wide open, with him "as is".
This year, should love come, I will love without looking to forever, without promise of happy endings, but I will love with all of me, with all the space of the moment, for I know that for now, that is all that is within me to give. If love comes, he will not find me unwilling, but this year, I will not be chasing him down through the nooks and crannies of my life. I have done enough chasing in the past. This year, he will have to find me. I am worth the effort, after all, and while I like the chase too, this year, I will see about being a prize.
(And if by some grand design, I am left unfound and unclaimed, then so be it. For one year at least, I can keep me to myself.)
I will make my way in the world the best I know how: with pasion, with an open mind, with a lust for learning and adventure. I will let my own spirit take me where it will. I will ride every wave that comes to my shore. I will fly as far as I am able. I will not be afraid to lose my way, as long as I never lose myself. I will not live in fear of defeat, or change, or failure. I will not hold back. I will unwrap my courage, and wield it like a sword.
This year, I will live life solely for me. This year, I will unravel my soul as much as I am able. This year, I start anew.
This year, I will be my own oracle of what is to come, and I promise highs and lows and love and laughter and even my share of tears. But in the end, they will all have their place, and they will all be good things.
Here's to 2010. May it see me be better than I ever was.
1:21:00 PM
1 Comments
Vietnam
Saigon was a blast. It's been a couple of months since my last trip outside of the islands, so this was much needed.
***
On our second day in Saigon, we took a day tour to the Mekong Delta.
We got on the bus, ready to settle down to a few hours of vehicular confinement, our lives apparently in the hands of an old driver with a love for beeping, a penchant for keeping one hand on his cellphone at all times, and a very loose understanding of the meaning of stoplights. Business as usual in the third world, of course. I live in the Philippines right now, so the traffic and the beeping andthe general video game flavor of the drive didn't bother me. I simply rearranged myself for what seemed like the 17th time, and tried to re-angle my body into a slightly more comfortable position.
It was in the angling and re-angling that I saw him.
Actually, I saw his shirt first. It was blue. A light blue the color of tropical skies and rich people's pools. A striking, look-at-me blue. The kind of blue I don't normally see on men.
My eyes travelled up to his face, pulled in that direction solely by the color of his shirt. I wanted to see what kind of face went with that that kind of blue.
He had a good face - strong, intelligient, handsome. He looked a bit European (German or Dutch, if I had to guess), but then I heard him speak and his accent was more American than anything else. His hair was tied back, which brought out the angles of his face. He looked strong, but in a quiet sort of way. He wore glasses, which I really liked. Without them, I may have pegged him as just another pretty boy out to see the world. But the glasses made him stand out. At least to me.
I smiled to myself and raised my head a little so I could see the color of his eyes. I had to hold back a tiny gasp. It's always a little disconcerting to realize that whatever it was you were looking at is actually looking back.
He was staring. At me.
Now, I know my own face. I'm not ugly, but there are girls with better eyes and better noses and nicer skin and nicer hair. I can be nice to look at on a good day, but even I know enough not to suffer under the delusion of being perenially pretty.
But he stared. Not just once, but throughout the course of the little tour. I know because whenever I tried to sneak a glance at him, his eyes were always there, as if waiting to meet mine.
And if nothing else, whether he meant it or not, he made me feel like I was some kind of strange, beautiful creature. And I really liked that.
I wish I had at least tried to strike up a conversation with him. (I was going to ask him about his unusual shoes, but an American lady beat me to it.) I wish he had been friendly enough to have said hello. I wish we could have shared a table with him and his friend for lunch.
And I really wish I knew his name.
***
We also had a few beers with a Swedish guy who was on tour with us. His name was Emil, and that night was a lot of fun. Back on the bus, I thought he would be one of those quiet solo types. As it turns out, he was a riot. And he stayed out two hours later than he should have. I really hope he made his tour the next day.
***
Saigon was different from what I expected. Not better or worse, exactly, just different. I liked it.
***
On our second day in Saigon, we took a day tour to the Mekong Delta.
We got on the bus, ready to settle down to a few hours of vehicular confinement, our lives apparently in the hands of an old driver with a love for beeping, a penchant for keeping one hand on his cellphone at all times, and a very loose understanding of the meaning of stoplights. Business as usual in the third world, of course. I live in the Philippines right now, so the traffic and the beeping andthe general video game flavor of the drive didn't bother me. I simply rearranged myself for what seemed like the 17th time, and tried to re-angle my body into a slightly more comfortable position.
It was in the angling and re-angling that I saw him.
Actually, I saw his shirt first. It was blue. A light blue the color of tropical skies and rich people's pools. A striking, look-at-me blue. The kind of blue I don't normally see on men.
My eyes travelled up to his face, pulled in that direction solely by the color of his shirt. I wanted to see what kind of face went with that that kind of blue.
He had a good face - strong, intelligient, handsome. He looked a bit European (German or Dutch, if I had to guess), but then I heard him speak and his accent was more American than anything else. His hair was tied back, which brought out the angles of his face. He looked strong, but in a quiet sort of way. He wore glasses, which I really liked. Without them, I may have pegged him as just another pretty boy out to see the world. But the glasses made him stand out. At least to me.
I smiled to myself and raised my head a little so I could see the color of his eyes. I had to hold back a tiny gasp. It's always a little disconcerting to realize that whatever it was you were looking at is actually looking back.
He was staring. At me.
Now, I know my own face. I'm not ugly, but there are girls with better eyes and better noses and nicer skin and nicer hair. I can be nice to look at on a good day, but even I know enough not to suffer under the delusion of being perenially pretty.
But he stared. Not just once, but throughout the course of the little tour. I know because whenever I tried to sneak a glance at him, his eyes were always there, as if waiting to meet mine.
And if nothing else, whether he meant it or not, he made me feel like I was some kind of strange, beautiful creature. And I really liked that.
I wish I had at least tried to strike up a conversation with him. (I was going to ask him about his unusual shoes, but an American lady beat me to it.) I wish he had been friendly enough to have said hello. I wish we could have shared a table with him and his friend for lunch.
And I really wish I knew his name.
***
We also had a few beers with a Swedish guy who was on tour with us. His name was Emil, and that night was a lot of fun. Back on the bus, I thought he would be one of those quiet solo types. As it turns out, he was a riot. And he stayed out two hours later than he should have. I really hope he made his tour the next day.
***
Saigon was different from what I expected. Not better or worse, exactly, just different. I liked it.
1:20:00 PM
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Saturday, November 14, 2009
My cousin's wedding
A bit impromptu (2 weeks' lead time!) but good fun. Was held at a nice hotel here, motif was yellow and white, and the bride was absolutely radiant.
The groom comes from a Baptist family, and the bride (my cousin) is Roman Catholic -- one of my uncles is actually a priest. So the ceremony, while predominantly Baptist, incorporated a few Catholic prayers as well.
Enjoy!
Prayers. My sister in the foreground, me in white to the right. Cousins all around.
The couple, Randy and Sam.
My sister and me.
All the single ladies, all the single ladies...
Me and my cousin, Cecile, in matching bright white.
Just us Albano girls. Front row: Rochelle, Karen, me and Lia. Back row: Deborah, Cecile, Cheryl, and Kyra.
And the cousins.
The groom comes from a Baptist family, and the bride (my cousin) is Roman Catholic -- one of my uncles is actually a priest. So the ceremony, while predominantly Baptist, incorporated a few Catholic prayers as well.
Enjoy!
Prayers. My sister in the foreground, me in white to the right. Cousins all around.
The couple, Randy and Sam.
My sister and me.
All the single ladies, all the single ladies...
Me and my cousin, Cecile, in matching bright white.
Just us Albano girls. Front row: Rochelle, Karen, me and Lia. Back row: Deborah, Cecile, Cheryl, and Kyra.
And the cousins.
9:54:00 AM
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Thursday, November 12, 2009
A quickie
Today I woke up with a hankering for true blue Taiwanese food. Specifically, pai goo fan and stinky tofu. And two or three dishes I will never be able to order because a.) I don't know what they're called; b.) I don't know exactly what's in them; and c.) the kinds of restaurants that serve them are the kinds that have two menus, and I don't speak Chinese.
I'm not Chinese or Taiwanese, but my ex was Taiwanese-American. We lived together for nearly six years, and we saw his family nearly every weekend. I have eaten A LOT of Chinese/Taiwanese food, so much so that I regard some dishes as MY comfort food. I still cannot get over the idea that I may never taste them again.
This is the part of the break-up that lingers, isn't it? It's not pain anymore, just a kind of niggling nostalgia. It hits it home: I no longer have a Taiwanese family to feed me steamed fish with soy sauce and ginger and scallions, or Japanese curry, or pork ribs in that black bean sauce. I can no longer go to a real Chinese restaurant in Flushing, NY (the kind in which non-chinese fear to tread), and sit contentendly as a flurry of mandarin is exchanged between the waitstaff and my former M-I-L. I no longer have a guide to that world; I am no longer an honorary member. Their secrets are lost to me now.
And in a strange, quiet, but very real way, that makes me sad.
I'm not Chinese or Taiwanese, but my ex was Taiwanese-American. We lived together for nearly six years, and we saw his family nearly every weekend. I have eaten A LOT of Chinese/Taiwanese food, so much so that I regard some dishes as MY comfort food. I still cannot get over the idea that I may never taste them again.
This is the part of the break-up that lingers, isn't it? It's not pain anymore, just a kind of niggling nostalgia. It hits it home: I no longer have a Taiwanese family to feed me steamed fish with soy sauce and ginger and scallions, or Japanese curry, or pork ribs in that black bean sauce. I can no longer go to a real Chinese restaurant in Flushing, NY (the kind in which non-chinese fear to tread), and sit contentendly as a flurry of mandarin is exchanged between the waitstaff and my former M-I-L. I no longer have a guide to that world; I am no longer an honorary member. Their secrets are lost to me now.
And in a strange, quiet, but very real way, that makes me sad.
2:02:00 PM
1 Comments
Monday, November 2, 2009
random things
As per Filipino tradition, the family and I spent a whole lot of time at various cemeteries over the weekend. It's customary to pay one's respects to one's dearly departed around the Feast of All Saints. So, Halloween morning was spent at La Loma in Quezon City - overgrown grass, dirty tombs, candle wax and a dirty little creek to boot. My paternal grandfather is buried there.
The whole of November 1, on the other hand, which is All Saints' proper, was spent in Manila Memorial. Much cleaner, better maintained. Even has a smattering of various concessions stands (frozen yogurt, Pizza Hut, ice cream, hotdogs). Slightly odd if you stop to think about it, so I don't. My maternal grandfather, who passed away recently, and my mom's sister, who also happens to be my namesake, are both there.
***
Being man-less (something that seems to be in the cards for me for the foreseeable future) is somewhat of an odd state of affairs for me after having been attached for most of my twenties. But that's okay. I mean that's why we have the internet, right?
So in no particular order, my current roster of crushables:
1. PAUL BETTANY. Especially in the soon-to-be released Legion.
BECAUSE: Paul Bettany's Michael is sexy in a gritty, otherworldly way. He's strong and powerful, wise beyond the world, inscrutable and mysterious, and he's got a bit of a savior complex going on, but he's gone against his god, so he's also damned. I'm a sucker for men with conviction and a higher purpose, and I love the sense of quiet grace and strength. Plus I've always thought angels were sexy as hell. I love the whole soldier of god mythos and everything that entails. Man. Paul Bettany always chooses roles that suck me in.
2. TOM WISDOM. Otherwise known as Astunias in 300. And Mark in The Boat That Rocked. And Gabriel in the incredibly dorky movie Fire and Ice.
BECAUSE: He is just so obviously the epitome of the Classic Wanda Type. Bloodlines that straddle multiple races? Check - he's English and Japanese. Height? Check - he's supposed to be 6'3. Eye color? Check - a kind of muddy green with flecks of blue. His interviews bring to mind a man who is down-to-earth, funny, and knows not to take himself too seriously. Oh and apparently, he likes good food and he has eclectic musical tastes. I mean, really, it's like he stepped right out of my imagination. He's the guy I've been dreaming about (on and off) since I was twelve... only back then I wasn't sure he existed.
3. DAVID TENNANT. Not conventionally hot, but OMG, he's the Doctor.
BECAUSE: Again, he is the fricking Doctor. More to the point, HE IS MY DOCTOR. I mean, Time Lord! Sexy Genius. And the man behind the role is no slouch either. I love his range as an actor, the way he inhabits his characters, the way he moves. And I absolutely adore the little boy wonder that always seems to dance in his eyes. He seems to just be having fun with life, and I really, really admire that.
4. BRADLEY JAMES. Currently playing Arthur to Colin Morgan's Merlin.
BECAUSE: He's blond and blue-eyed and sizzling and just arrogant enough. A completely different style of sexy. You can almost see him as the slightly cocky, but incredibly charming guy everyone loves to hang around with. The one all the girls want to meet in all those parties. That, coupled with the fact that he's so adorably un-manscaped just screams confidence to me. And his stereotypically bad English teeth are so endearing. He just comes off as someone comfortable in his own skin, I guess. He's not covered up in pretty Hollywood goo, still seems to be in touch with reality, and he's just plain funny. If I ever change my mind about having babies, I'd love for my kid to have his genes. Ah. I wonder if he'd ever consider donating sperm...
***
I'm taking a break from writing. I really need to finish this, and it's making me slightly crazy.
The whole of November 1, on the other hand, which is All Saints' proper, was spent in Manila Memorial. Much cleaner, better maintained. Even has a smattering of various concessions stands (frozen yogurt, Pizza Hut, ice cream, hotdogs). Slightly odd if you stop to think about it, so I don't. My maternal grandfather, who passed away recently, and my mom's sister, who also happens to be my namesake, are both there.
***
Being man-less (something that seems to be in the cards for me for the foreseeable future) is somewhat of an odd state of affairs for me after having been attached for most of my twenties. But that's okay. I mean that's why we have the internet, right?
So in no particular order, my current roster of crushables:
1. PAUL BETTANY. Especially in the soon-to-be released Legion.
BECAUSE: Paul Bettany's Michael is sexy in a gritty, otherworldly way. He's strong and powerful, wise beyond the world, inscrutable and mysterious, and he's got a bit of a savior complex going on, but he's gone against his god, so he's also damned. I'm a sucker for men with conviction and a higher purpose, and I love the sense of quiet grace and strength. Plus I've always thought angels were sexy as hell. I love the whole soldier of god mythos and everything that entails. Man. Paul Bettany always chooses roles that suck me in.
2. TOM WISDOM. Otherwise known as Astunias in 300. And Mark in The Boat That Rocked. And Gabriel in the incredibly dorky movie Fire and Ice.
BECAUSE: He is just so obviously the epitome of the Classic Wanda Type. Bloodlines that straddle multiple races? Check - he's English and Japanese. Height? Check - he's supposed to be 6'3. Eye color? Check - a kind of muddy green with flecks of blue. His interviews bring to mind a man who is down-to-earth, funny, and knows not to take himself too seriously. Oh and apparently, he likes good food and he has eclectic musical tastes. I mean, really, it's like he stepped right out of my imagination. He's the guy I've been dreaming about (on and off) since I was twelve... only back then I wasn't sure he existed.
3. DAVID TENNANT. Not conventionally hot, but OMG, he's the Doctor.
BECAUSE: Again, he is the fricking Doctor. More to the point, HE IS MY DOCTOR. I mean, Time Lord! Sexy Genius. And the man behind the role is no slouch either. I love his range as an actor, the way he inhabits his characters, the way he moves. And I absolutely adore the little boy wonder that always seems to dance in his eyes. He seems to just be having fun with life, and I really, really admire that.
4. BRADLEY JAMES. Currently playing Arthur to Colin Morgan's Merlin.
BECAUSE: He's blond and blue-eyed and sizzling and just arrogant enough. A completely different style of sexy. You can almost see him as the slightly cocky, but incredibly charming guy everyone loves to hang around with. The one all the girls want to meet in all those parties. That, coupled with the fact that he's so adorably un-manscaped just screams confidence to me. And his stereotypically bad English teeth are so endearing. He just comes off as someone comfortable in his own skin, I guess. He's not covered up in pretty Hollywood goo, still seems to be in touch with reality, and he's just plain funny. If I ever change my mind about having babies, I'd love for my kid to have his genes. Ah. I wonder if he'd ever consider donating sperm...
I'm taking a break from writing. I really need to finish this, and it's making me slightly crazy.
11:31:00 AM
1 Comments
Friday, October 23, 2009
back for a mo'
See, I've been trying to finish my novel.
(I've been saying this exact phrase in my head for the last two years, but right now, I am utterly convinced that the end actually is within my sights. Of course this could be deceptive, similar to when my sister and I, having spotted the Eiffel Tower as we walked out of the Louvre, decided we would hoof it from one landmark to the other. We kept the Tower well within our sights for about two hours before our feet finally gave way beneath us on the grass by the Eiffel Lawn.)
Right. As I was saying, in my novel, there is a particular apartment that needs to be described. It's the apartment the protagonist and her friends live in, and I think that the interior aesthetic of the flat would be a great way to show the kind of people the protagonist and her friends are. So I've been imagining all sorts of furniture and paints and windows and drapes. And then when I was done, I realized that the flat in my head was the flat I wanted in actuality. For myself. Fancy that.
I absolutely adore the couch above (it's from the anthropologie catalog). I've been adoring similar couches for awhile now. I love the vintage tuftiness, the tres femme Marie-Antoinette-meets-my-boho-aunt vibe.
Or actually, a castle. With a library in it. And my own Duke. (Not a prince, they're too uppity. And then there's the massive amount of energy it would take to avoid the paparazzi. A duke though, is eminently do-able. He can be one of those quiet, under-the-radar aristocrats who will take on the title because nobody else will do it, but would, really, rather do something else. Like teaching. Or traveling. Or feeding the homeless.) Now if I had a castle, I could get these.
The first one as a guestroom. The second one as a chandelier for somewhere, because the black rose theme just appeals to me – it's kind of goth, kind of dark, wildly romantic and inventive, and it's pretty. Plus, done right, I think it's just Count Vlad enough to keep the pale, muted silks from being prissy. The third one, for my private lake, just because. And a nice modern kitchen with gleaming copper pots. And the library. Two floors. Of wonderful books. And then I'd also like two more brains and two more pairs of eyes, so I can read all those wonderful books before I die.
But back to work. This would be great, I think, for a New York apartment shared by three girls, although I would replace the yellow couch with the blue tufted one (secondhand, with a rip to be covered by matching fabric). And the chandelier is a bit much for a twenty-something budget, unless you're a trustafarian, so maybe a Japanese lantern or something from UO or Ikea. The fireplace would be non-working, of course, and I'm not sure I like that mirror, but everything else seems do-able, light, breezy, and perfect for a share. Maybe add a printed, slightly translucent drape on the window, change the rug to something younger, a few colored throws, a few more tchotchkes for lived-in clutter, et voila!
I've also been imagining another apartment, this one owned by a well-to-do young male.A bit more streamlined, a bit more, shall we say, polished? More dark wood on stark white walls, stainless steel on warm brick. Nicely coated with professional designer smut. Yes, I think that sounds about right. The boy in possession of the flat isn't very good at keeping up the smut though, so the place has been gradually allowed to roll back into the land of the lived in.
Oh and there's a wedding too – lots and lots of fun, and possibly the closest I will ever get to imagining a wedding of my own. The wedding in my mind is impossible (what with the site not being open to weddings, or indeed, any kind of fete, at all; and the attendees being creatures of my own making), but if I'm going to think up a dream wedding, I might as well let loose and not be bothered by trifles like possibility.
And that's it. I now scuttle back into my head.
(I've been saying this exact phrase in my head for the last two years, but right now, I am utterly convinced that the end actually is within my sights. Of course this could be deceptive, similar to when my sister and I, having spotted the Eiffel Tower as we walked out of the Louvre, decided we would hoof it from one landmark to the other. We kept the Tower well within our sights for about two hours before our feet finally gave way beneath us on the grass by the Eiffel Lawn.)
Right. As I was saying, in my novel, there is a particular apartment that needs to be described. It's the apartment the protagonist and her friends live in, and I think that the interior aesthetic of the flat would be a great way to show the kind of people the protagonist and her friends are. So I've been imagining all sorts of furniture and paints and windows and drapes. And then when I was done, I realized that the flat in my head was the flat I wanted in actuality. For myself. Fancy that.
I absolutely adore the couch above (it's from the anthropologie catalog). I've been adoring similar couches for awhile now. I love the vintage tuftiness, the tres femme Marie-Antoinette-meets-my-boho-aunt vibe.
And then I saw this and I realized I wanted to live in a library.
Or actually, a castle. With a library in it. And my own Duke. (Not a prince, they're too uppity. And then there's the massive amount of energy it would take to avoid the paparazzi. A duke though, is eminently do-able. He can be one of those quiet, under-the-radar aristocrats who will take on the title because nobody else will do it, but would, really, rather do something else. Like teaching. Or traveling. Or feeding the homeless.) Now if I had a castle, I could get these.
The first one as a guestroom. The second one as a chandelier for somewhere, because the black rose theme just appeals to me – it's kind of goth, kind of dark, wildly romantic and inventive, and it's pretty. Plus, done right, I think it's just Count Vlad enough to keep the pale, muted silks from being prissy. The third one, for my private lake, just because. And a nice modern kitchen with gleaming copper pots. And the library. Two floors. Of wonderful books. And then I'd also like two more brains and two more pairs of eyes, so I can read all those wonderful books before I die.
But back to work. This would be great, I think, for a New York apartment shared by three girls, although I would replace the yellow couch with the blue tufted one (secondhand, with a rip to be covered by matching fabric). And the chandelier is a bit much for a twenty-something budget, unless you're a trustafarian, so maybe a Japanese lantern or something from UO or Ikea. The fireplace would be non-working, of course, and I'm not sure I like that mirror, but everything else seems do-able, light, breezy, and perfect for a share. Maybe add a printed, slightly translucent drape on the window, change the rug to something younger, a few colored throws, a few more tchotchkes for lived-in clutter, et voila!
I've also been imagining another apartment, this one owned by a well-to-do young male.
Oh and there's a wedding too – lots and lots of fun, and possibly the closest I will ever get to imagining a wedding of my own. The wedding in my mind is impossible (what with the site not being open to weddings, or indeed, any kind of fete, at all; and the attendees being creatures of my own making), but if I'm going to think up a dream wedding, I might as well let loose and not be bothered by trifles like possibility.
And that's it. I now scuttle back into my head.
1:48:00 AM
1 Comments
Friday, October 2, 2009
At the heels of Typhoon Ketsana, TYPHOON PARMA
There is a bit of morbid excitement, a macabre sense of anticipation, for the storm that is set to pound us yet again only days after a devastating typhoon. I have not seen the sun in a while. Right now, the skies are heavy with dark clouds, and there is an eerie stillness, an uneasy kind of calm.
Just this afternoon, a barrage of status updates and text messages poured into my various networking devices. They spewed forth a litany of “updates”, some of them in direct conflict with each other. It's evident that people are scared. Some people had just watched last weekend's flood swallow everything they owned. Friends are still reeling from the loss of sentiment-filled belongings, heirlooms passed through the years, homes filled with memories, and various other proud emblems of prestige and love and hard work. All their earthly goods had either been washed away with the torrent or irreparably damaged by the water and covered in mud.
My family was lucky. We lived in the tiny slice of Manila that had been almost completely spared. Eighty percent of my city was underwater at one point, and all we had to put up with were a few minor leaks in our roof.
CNN says the storm is coming, and already the grocery shelves have been emptied of tinned food, candles, batteries, bottled water, and other emergency rations. Important documents have been sealed in waterproof bags. Friends have wished each other well, smiled their tight smiles, crossed their fingers and toes. People have gone home, charged their cell phones and laptops, prayed to their various gods.
All we can do is hunker down and brace ourselves for the “severe typhoon”, which has been predicted to bring with it a deluge of water and very strong winds. Right now, we can only hope that the damage to people and property won't be too devastating. We can only hope that at the end of all this, we will, again, somehow, overcome.
Be safe, Manila. I'll see you on the other side.
Just this afternoon, a barrage of status updates and text messages poured into my various networking devices. They spewed forth a litany of “updates”, some of them in direct conflict with each other. It's evident that people are scared. Some people had just watched last weekend's flood swallow everything they owned. Friends are still reeling from the loss of sentiment-filled belongings, heirlooms passed through the years, homes filled with memories, and various other proud emblems of prestige and love and hard work. All their earthly goods had either been washed away with the torrent or irreparably damaged by the water and covered in mud.
My family was lucky. We lived in the tiny slice of Manila that had been almost completely spared. Eighty percent of my city was underwater at one point, and all we had to put up with were a few minor leaks in our roof.
CNN says the storm is coming, and already the grocery shelves have been emptied of tinned food, candles, batteries, bottled water, and other emergency rations. Important documents have been sealed in waterproof bags. Friends have wished each other well, smiled their tight smiles, crossed their fingers and toes. People have gone home, charged their cell phones and laptops, prayed to their various gods.
All we can do is hunker down and brace ourselves for the “severe typhoon”, which has been predicted to bring with it a deluge of water and very strong winds. Right now, we can only hope that the damage to people and property won't be too devastating. We can only hope that at the end of all this, we will, again, somehow, overcome.
Be safe, Manila. I'll see you on the other side.
8:22:00 AM
0 Comments
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
